Real Life

This post isn't the easiest for us. We wanted to post something REAL, something not easy. The past several years have not been an easy ride for us. Four years ago, we decided we were ready to start building our family and trying for a baby. At first, we were hopeful, excited and a just "letting it happen"... then after a couple years of that, we decided to talkto Dr's to see what's going on. After many tests, Dr appointments, regular acupuncture, herbs, vitamins, massage and more...they have not discovered any problems at all. In fact, they are calling it "unexplained infertility". To us, this is the worst kind considering there is no explanation. There are no words to describe how it feels for your body to not do what you are created to do. There are no words to describe the feeling of emptiness that you experience from infertility. There are no words to describe the roller coaster of emotions you experience every single day. A pregnant woman walking by you at the grocery store, she has something you want but can't have... a friend announcing their pregnancy, a reminder of what you have worked so hard for, spent a lot of time and money on but can't have.... so you put on a smile because you genuinly are happy for them but you are falling to pieces in secret... the reminder every month of the dreaded mensus.... the tracking of ovulation becomes a compulsive behavior every minute of every day... you lose not only your sanity but you lose yourself. Relationships start to not matter. Nothing matters anymore and you will do anything for this one thing... a baby. All you can think about is this one thing that you want but can't have and there is no answer. This is real life. This is a secret battle. Adoption is something that has always been on our hearts and even though we are suffering from infertility, adoption is not our plan B.#Adoption is something we have talked about since our very first month together 11 yrs ago. It has been on Blakes heart since he was 18. We knew we were going to adopt someday but we didn't know we were going to have infertility.

siblings

We happen to both be only children by blood. However, Blake has one step brother and four step sisters by marriage on his dad's side of the family. Olivia was blessed with many cousins, a couple are sisters to her that she talks to almost on a daily basis. Together we have many friends that we consider our brothers and sisters. These are the people that celebrate our success and happiness with us when good things happen, they hold us up when things get tough and they are there for us through the thick and thin. These are the friends that are our chosen family. We are so very thankful for all the love and friendship we are surrounded by.

The View from our door

This is a fraction of the view from our back door, standing on our deck. We live near a paragliding park and anytime of year, we can see paraglider's flying by our windows and doors. We fell very fortunate to live where we do and to be able to see the beauty we see from our home. Not only Is it our view but it is also what Blake does for a living. Paragliding is one of his passions

Us

We work hard to play hard and no matter what we are doing, we try to have fun! You can catch us hanging out with friends ALOT because the most important thing to us is relationships. On our down time, we love snuggling together on the couch (with Danni and Pat the Cat of course) to watch our favorite series on TV. Currently we love "This is Us" (We are a bit behind and catching up on the last season). We both work from home so we are fortunate enough to see one another off and on throughout the day, sneak in meals together or high five while passing through the hallway. Our most favorite thing to do together is travel. We are currently planning a trip to Europe in late summer. We bought a camper last summer and are already planning as many weekend camping trips in it as we can! To sum up "Us"... We LOVE one another more than anything in this world and LOVE experiencing this life together. 

This picture is of a binder that I made two years ago in October 2014. We were considering adoption then but the timing just didn't feel right so I put my binder away. This binder holds every single piece of information I receive on adoption, notes that I take at all of my support groups, conferences and seminars. Literature and more... It has a couple of water stains on it but it is covered in HOPE and LOVE. The gift certificate will be explained now...  Our journey started in August last year (2016) when we decided to start looking into adoption again. I had heard about Utah Adoption Specialists (UAS) from an ad on my Facebook so I called them to see what they were about. They are a team of case workers that used to work for agencies. They branched out to start this company so they can help people adopt privately and make it more affordable.  In September, we had heard that UAS was having a 2 day extensive adoption training course and it was $200. They were having a contest on Instagram to win the course for free. At this time, Blake and I were just curious and wanting to learn more about adopting. So I sent out a text to everyone I know on Instagram to enter for me. Our friend Caitie won the tickets and gifted them to us! I couldn't believe it!!! This was the start to something beautiful and I just knew it. We attended this course for two days and became more excited about the idea of adoption. At the course, we learned about trans racial adoption, open adoption, proper language when talking about adoption as well as a panel of birth moms that shared their stories and a panel of adoptees from ages 5 to 50 that shared their stories. It was inspiring and really tugged at our hearts that this is what we are meant to do. We met the some amazing people at this seminar who have now become friends. UAS also has a monthly support group where they offer support for those hoping to adopt as well as those who have adopted. I immediately started attending their meetings. In October we heard about the first ever Utah Infertility Conference. I heard they were doing giveaways and one of them is an adoption home study through UAS, valued at $700. We attended this seminar and you would not believe it but WE WON!!! We won our home study for FREE! At this moment it all just seemed right. Everything was falling into place and it just seemed like we were so blessed with every step we took. I never win anything! UNTIL NOW. We set up our home study immediately and as of December 21st 2016 we are Home Study approved and able to adopt at any time. That brings us to today. I had started a new career in Real Estate in January so we wanted to get that off the ground before taking the next step and continuing our journey to match with a birth family. We are not going through an agency. We have decided to do a private adoption. This is why we need your help. We are hoping that someone we know, knows someone that knows someone that is in a situation that they are considering placing their baby for adoption. We are excited to see what the future holds and hopeful that the right situation will present itself not only to us but to a birth mom that is looking as well. To be continued....

Kite buggying with Blake in the desert of Nevada. We've been doing this together for 11 years and looking forward to sharing this part of our lives with our little one. 

Blake took our cute little neighbor kids Madison (pictured here), Chase and Cloe paragliding today! It was super cold but they LOVED every second of it. Blakes favorite thing is taking kids flying with him. 

Christmas 2016

Playground Fun

No matter what, Blake and Olivia like to have fun!

Texas BBQ with strangers

Here's a story about talking to strangers and eating Texas BBQ: First of all, Rudy's is THE place to go in Texas. The whole experience is like nothing I've seen! ...and the food is great. 

In line behind me was the LoneStar Soccer club. After chatting with these guys about today's win against the yellow team, I was immediately invited to sit at their table. That's where I got to know Oliver, Jacob, Mathiew & Ryan a bit more. Oliver and Mathiew explained to me that they both play goalie. They agreed that Mathiew is better at it, but Oliver enjoys playing that position a lot more. Meanwhile, Ryan sipped his bottle of root beer while explaining to Jacob and I how it's made. You see, it's simply beer with roots added. The roots somehow remove the alcohol which makes it ok for kids to drink. 👍🏽

Thanks guys for having lunch with me!!

...a full belly and I'm back on the road.

First Annual UIRC Conference

Our hearts are exploding right now! We attended the first annual Utah Infertility Conference today organized by Utah Infertility Resource Center. It was very educational and super touching. The "Pathways To Parenthood" lunch panel was really informative as different families bravely shared their individual stories from embryo adoption, surrogacy, adoption, IVF and choosing a childless life. The classes were very informative and I could tell they were so good for Blake as they reassured him of some of his feelings he's felt throughout our infertility. The BEST part was that we won our adoption home study from @utahadoptionspecialists. I couldn't sleep last night in anticipation of this moment and when they called my name, my whole body was shaking with excitement. I know this must sound really strange to have that reaction but this was huge for us! We wanted this win so much! I am truly #grateful for how smoothly things have gone so far since we made the decision to choose #adoption in August. My eyes are filling with tears as I write this because this journey just feels so right. I am humbled by it all. Even though there are so many amazing women involved with both of these organizations, I particularly want to give a huge amount of love to two very influential women in my life now that have given me hope and positive direction so far in this journey. Thank you Kim and Camille 

Adoption Journal

I received our adoption journal from Promptly Journals today! This little book is quickly becoming my prized possession. I'm excited to fill out every detail from finding our baby through adoption, to our babies birth story until he or she turns 18 yrs old! Thank you Promptly Journals for making an adoption journal! I'm forever grateful!!!

Paperwork beginning

We have begun the paperwork process... this is the beginning of a beautiful journey that will change our lives forever in a very special way.

Lake Powell Fishing Trip

Blake went on a fishing trip with his dad and a family friend Dan at Lake Powell. They caught so many fish! We have enough fish fillets now for 6 months! Fishing and boating is one of Blake's favorite things to do any time or day. He is really good at it too! Blake grew up fishing with his dad and it's one thing they make a priority to do together every year.

Paragliding with Blake

Blake is a paragliding instructor and tandem pilot. Every once in a while I'll fly with him. Considering paragliding to be a huge love for him, it is my biggest fear! Despite full body shakes on my part from a huge adrenaline dump, he was very patient with me and even let me steer the glider some in hopes to relieve my fears. I'm super blessed to have such a kind, patient, loving husband. I'm happy to make these kind of memories with him. 💜 ~from Olivia

UAS Adoption Training

We had the opportunity to attend the Utah Adoption Specialist Adoption Training classes this past weekend. The classes were very enlightening and enriching.  We attended classes on Adoption and the law, Surviving Failed adoptions, Building your Profile, Multiracial Adoptions, Attachment in Adoptions and Open adoptions.    The adoptive parents, birth parents and adoptee panels were extremely important to us as they helped us to gain perspective from the experience of others.  We left this training feeling empowered and more excited about the process of adopting a baby through private adoption.  If you are thinking about adoption or have a loved one that is adopting, I highly recommend this training.  UAS offers it twice a year.

These beautiful women are three of the most awesome caseworkers out of many that work at Utah Adoption Specialist.  (left to right) Lauren, Krystal and Kim.  They are amazing women with nine years experience in this field.  The experience they have gained is not only on a professional level as they have also adopted their own children.  I am so happy to have found these wonderful women and feel like they will be an amazing support to us through this journey.